It’s a New Year and it’s that time again to tackle the New Year’s Resolution question.  

As is now becoming The Chris Brogan Tradition, it’s time to pick three words that will represent your goals in the New Year.

The three words that I have chosen are based on what I want to change from last year, and what I think will be needed to make sure I accomplish meaningful personal objectives in 2012, and that I no longer feel like I’m just waiting as days get checked off the calendar like a prison sentence being served. The (perhaps trite) spirit of my three words is this:  No longer passive spectator for me; it is high time to be an active participant in living life.

My three words for 2012 are as follows:

Create.  As the quote on a magnet I recently bought states:  “Life is not about finding yourself.  Life is about creating yourself.”  I will no longer allow my creativity to take a back seat to blindly “going with the flow”.  Two accompanying words that didn’t make my Top 3 Word cut, but are soulfully implied to be a part of “Create”, are: “Inspire” and “Create Value”.

Focus.  Loosely tied to the “Expert Enough Manifesto”, I’ve come to realize that goals don’t need to take forever to get done; that there are ways to show results sooner rather than later, i.e.,  it just depends on the results being targeted.  It’s not always about being big either.  Along with focus is finding “Balance”, i.e. another word that didn’t make my Top 3 Word cut, mostly because it is assumed to be a part of focus.  Success in one area at the expense of another priority (particularly health and fitness) will not be an acceptable option for me.

Courage.  I found that when you are looking for that extra push (or kick) to take a scary action, reading the free ebook, “The Flinch,” is the best medicine.  In this new year, my plan is to take more leaps of faith than ever before.  In the spirit of Wayne Dyer’s “Excuses Begone”, the following question of his seems especially appropriate: “What would my life look like if I didn’t have these excuses?”  Along with courage, would go the implied word (which was also a Top 3 Word contentder): “Action”.

Create, Focus and Courage are my final three targets for 2012.  I believe that I’ve spent enough time learning, reading, planning, and waiting.  Now it’s time to start doing. I have a new appreciation for what the phrase: “Fail fast and often” really means.  Now it’s time to stop talking and to start showing a.k.a. proving what I can do. 

I’m looking forward to the new year.  How about you?  What are your Three Words for 2012?

Self expression isn’t always easy.  Maybe that’s why I admire those who openly exhibit an apparently unshakable confidence to be themselves. 

It’s easy not to realize that behind outwardly confident people there are probably many encounters with ignorant people than most people are even aware. 

It seems that in life, it’s almost impossible to escape criticism entirely.  The schoolyard “Sticks and Stones” saying and the online advice of “Don’t feed the trolls” is only a small part of the story.

Sometimes scarier that just the verbal assault of a bully or an online troll is the scarier form of this which is extremist ideologues, a.k.a. people that are on a mission to push their own agenda as being the only correct agenda and will use any means available to acheive their outcomes.

Granted, it is not easy for some people to be tolerant of points-of-view that are diametrically opposed to their own, especially when it comes to political, religious, economic ideologies, or any ideology for that matter.

Let me clarify that I’m not saying that all ideologues are bullies, because there is a huge difference between an ideologue who is mature and tolerant and one who is an irrational extremist.

Conventional wisdom is to not even bother fighting the sorts of battles that you’ll never win. It sucks to hear that sometimes the bad guys win, especially when things escalate beyond just name-calling.

Optimists may point out that losing the battle isn’t the same as losing the war.  But to those lost in the battle, unfortunately the outcome of the war does become rather irrelevant. 

Everyone has a right to choose where their loyalties lie. There will be people on both sides of almost every argument who will never give up their loyalties. 

And, different ideologues have different ideas about what they are fighting for.  Some simply seek support for their ideas, while others seek apologies, and others want you to join or leave their group, to just name a few.  But there are also those that seek more extreme outcomes as well.

There are tribes on all sides of every argument.  It’s great to have a tribe on your side.  But that’s where I see is an ugly side of tribes, too. It’s scary to know that the enemy has a tribe on his side, too.

New technologies allow for the easy expression of many different points of view, many that may not align with our own. 

People will believe who and what they want to believe.  Yet I feel that it is still important to get our unique stories out.  Giving both or all sides of the story allows people to decide for themselves who or what they want to believe, especially those people who want or need to understand others sides of an argument, too. 

Isn’t that how we work to encourage tolerance, e.g., how advocacy against bullying and acceptance is growing through movements like the “It Gets Better Project”?

It is unfortunate how it is often easier to find the negative one-sided stories than to find the  more balanced or first-hand accounts of a story.

But there are stories to be told about all sides of situations.  And, there are people that want to hear the other side of the story, too.

Maybe it’s easier to tell a story than to fight a fight?  Maybe story telling is how we fight some fights.  Maybe we can only know what value our stories provide by telling them? Maybe the recent movie, “The Help”, is one example of this? 

What other stories still need telling?  That’s something that I’m going to give some more thought to. What about you?

I don’t have too many major regrets in life; at least not yet.   

In the past, I believe that I did what I knew best at the time.  Not that I wouldn’t go back and do some things differently.  But, since I didn’t know then what I do know now, I feel I wouldn’t have known to make other choices to get other outcomes at that time…if that makes sense?

At some motivational-type of events, activities like fire-eating or fire-walking are life changing experiences for some people.  Those experiences are actually designed to be just that.  To paraphrase: “By completing that activity and overcoming that fear, how many other things can you do that you didn’t think you could?”  These can be very empowering experiences if conducted and experienced in that way.

I understand and appreciate fire-walking and fire-eating.  I have done the former but not the latter. Yet still, I am not a fan of either.  That being the case, I don’t expect to have any regrets about never going on to pursue the latter.

We don’t all regret the same things. When I’m on my deathbed, I don’t expect that I will have any regrets over: never having gotten a tattoo; never travelling to Egypt or Pakistan, and a number of other countries; or never eating fire or going skydiving; etc.

Not that I couldn’t or wouldn’t enjoy experiencing those things, but since they don’t hold a lot of interest (or beckoning) for me at the moment, I don’t expect to regret not pursuing them.

This makes me realize that maybe the key isn’t to know what you would not regret (doing or not doing), but instead becoming aware and focusing on pursuing what you know you would regret not doing.

Once you know you will regret not pursuing something, then that is what should be embraced and not rationalized away.

I have one such yearning at the moment. One that I won’t give detail on today. (Maybe by the end of the week I’ll have more to reveal, but not just yet.)

But I’m curious, do you have anything in particular that you expect you’d regret not doing? In the past? Now? In the future?  Do tell below.  Thanks for visiting!

We all have bad days at work.  When we do, it is not uncommon to entertain the thought of:  “do I stay, or do I go?” 

Recently I came across strong arguments to support either option. 

From “don’t quit your job…never be without an income stream”, to “appreciate what you have until you have a plan to go after something better,” to the enticing:  “Oh, go for it, don’t live a life with regrets.”  

All three bits of advice make perfect sense.  So, whose advice do you take?  How do you choose among: patience; temptation; inspiration; motivation; opportunity costs; impulsiveness; and risk-taking?

Should we also be factoring in things like:  circumstances, personalities, and desired results?

We may even ask ourselves:  “Which is easier?”  But, then the follow-up question would be: “Is life about being easy?”

There are mathematical processes for decision-making out there, where you can rank priorities and weigh probabilities.  While that may give you some intellectual peace of mind, is practical advice and rationalization the best way to go?

Either way, I came to realize that maybe the answer is to take all three bits of advice and roll them into one solid piece of advice and do all three.  Maybe we don’t always have to choose (per se).

What other choices in our life do not really need to be choices of “either/or” but rather ”both/and”?

In the current economy many people are cutting back on “extras”, or at least attempting to.  But are we as frugal as we think we are?

Maybe we should start by getting clear on what frugality means to each of us. As we know, frugality can have a full range of definitions and connotations which range from the negative, i.e., being a Scrooge-like miser, to the positive, i.e., being a monk-like minimalist.

In general, as expressed in this blog post entitled: “Frugality – Not Just for the Poor”, frugality is described by The Frugal Goddess as a positive, i.e., “it is about getting the maximum out of available resources.”

Clearly “cutting back” is not the same as adopting frugality as a lifestyle, but it is definitely a step in the right direction, especially if building up savings and digging out of debt (or similarly: trying to lose weight; or getting healthier; or managing our time better; etc.) is our ultimate long-term goal.

Is there value in being “only sometimes” frugal? That all depends on: which definition of frugal we are using; what our goals are; and also if we are as frugal as we think we are.

For example, let’s say we are “frugal” on 90% of our supermarket shopping (or dieting; or exercising; or time management; etc.), but then feel we deserve to splurge on some extras which end up costing us more than we initially saved.  Is that maximizing resources?  Or is that being “penny wise and pound foolish”, i.e., “overcareful about trivial things and undercareful about important ones”?

Can we really be happy being frugal in a world of plenty alongside “the Joneses”?  Excess spending (or, over-eating, or mindless TV watching/gaming, etc.) can quickly become a lifestyle choice without us even realizing we’ve made those choices.   Cutting out (or at least cutting back on) those things that we don’t “need” shouldn’t be considered a sacrifice or deprivation (though it may seem so at first) because those are things that are not adding real value to our lives anyway.

Maybe the question we should be asking is:  Does this “Excess Stuff” (or Fast Foods/Snacks, or Time Killers, etc,) truly make us happier in the long run (though it may seem it does in the short term) and does it get us closer to achieving any goal(s)?

Is frugality an “All or Nothing” Game?  Or can we strike a balance between the two extremes?  What if we filled the voids created by what we cut back on with a new appreciation for the simple things of life that would become more apparent if we only believed they existed and we made the effort to find them (e.g., calm; peace of mind; patience; relaxation; awareness; etc.)?

Articles that I recommend which further exemplify the benefits of frugality include:

(1)   “Simplify, and Savor Life” by Leo Babuto, Zen Habits.

(2) In “Black Friday: The World Tells You to Shop, We Ask You to Stop” by Inhabitat, consider this quote: “We may live in a world governed by consumerism, but next time you’re standing in hour-long queues with a cart-full of goods, you should really consider whether or not this is something you could skip. We think those hours could certainly be spent more wisely with the same friends and family you happen to be shopping for.”

(3) “What Is Frugality Really?” by The Frugal Goddess.

What questions would you ask yourself (or others) about frugality?

Some people have no shyness whatsoever about offering their advice and opinions, writing books and articles, commenting, or expressing their thoughts in any variety of ways.  Others are just the opposite.  (And, there is a whole gamut of personalities that fall anywhere in between those two extremes.)

Conventional wisdom states that if you know more about a particular subject than someone else (or if you have a particular insight based on your unique experiences), then that qualifies you (and sometimes even obligates you) to share that information with others.  Yet many of us don’t feel that that is enough of a reason to do so.

For those of us who have gotten used to “holding our tongues”, here are four reasons why we may be doing so, and why I believe we should re-consider our reticence.  Can you relate to any or all of the following four points, too?

Argument #1.  My opinion might not be “right”.  According to Seth Godin’s recent rant about “The Deliberately Uninformed”, the only way to better “understand how the world works” is to take an interest in it and participate in the dialogue in order to learn, grow, and build on our learnings, regardless of whether imperfect information surrounds us.  He states: “Not all books are correct or useful. Not all accepted science is correct. The conventional wisdom might just be wrong. But ignoring all of it because the truth is now fashionably situational and in the eye of the beholder is a lame alternative.”

Argument #2.  I’m not confident/arrogant enough to believe I have all the answers.  It’s actually a good thing to know that you don’t know everything.  This reminds me of a point Malcolm Gladwell makes in his recent New Yorker article, “Small Change”, which is about how today’s social media activism is totally different from the engagement and risk of activism from the 1960s.  (Note:  This is an awesome article that I highly recommend reading.)  Anyway, he states that “Innovators tend to be solipsists” (i.e., this is a word I had to look up myself, meaning: that they think their thoughts are all that there is.)  That’s why it’s important to communicate and venture outside of our own echo-chambers, to find people with not only similar, but also opposing, and radically different thoughts in order to see (and consider) potential flaws in our arguments.

Argument #3.  I don’t represent a specific-enough POV.   There’s a difference between wanting to be right, or needing to win a debate, versus solving a problem.  The world doesn’t need more sound bites such as from “politicians being on message.”  What the world does need is more problem-solving.  This reminds me of a recent panel discussion on the State of Digital Communications in Politics at the recent Blog World Expo 2010.  One point made was that “the political center is not very well represented, and actually unrepresented in social media.” Maybe this is because polarization makes for better sound-bites and is easier to argue.  Either way, this should be even more of a reason to get beyond the sound-bites and start sifting through the details in order to arrive at real solutions that actually do represent what the people collectively want (if I’m not being too much of an idealist here.)

Argument #4.  I don’t know where to begin.  Sometimes we don’t know where to begin and that paralyzes us from making commitments and taking action.  Again conventional wisdom states that the best way find our target audience is to narrow our focus to something very specific (at least, that’s how SEO works.)  But consider this bit of advice from the book “REWORK”, by Jason Fried & David Heinemeier Hansson, founders of 37 Signals.  Their book is full of bite-sized counter-intuitive, non-conventional wisdom on how they became successful by doing things their own way.  The advice they quote is from Stanley Kubrick to new filmmakers: “when you’re new at something, you need to start creating.  The most important thing is to begin.” 

All four of these arguments have been too true for me for way too long.  It’s now time for me to start creating, to be okay with not having a clear focus, to not obsess about needing to have all the answers, and to not worry about being exactly “right”.   What about you? Could this work for you (or someone you know), too?

Doing things differently every once in a while is a good thing.

The more options you have for doing something, the more paths/choices you are aware you have when or if obstacles get in your way.

I’m not just stating these two points to philosophize to you, but more as a segue to sharing two things I unexpectedly learned about today.

Let me back up a bit. I’m taking a mini-MBA program in Digital Marketing at Rutgers Center for Management Development. While I probably should blog about the awesome instructors we have each week, or about the perfectly relevant topics we cover each week, I’m not going to do that because that’s not what this blog is about (though I couldn’t exactly define what I do write about either, but that’s beside the point for now.)

Anyway, in today’s class, in addition to learning about SEO and website design from Matt Bailey of SiteLogic (who is a very engaging presenter), I learned:

(1) an intriguing word that we can all relate to, used in the context of goal-setting: “Velleity” is “the intent to take action, but no intent to actually take that action.” According to Merriam-Webster, it is: “the lowest form of volition.” *ouch*

…and, I learned that…

(2) it is possible to be entirely mobile using an iPad, as Matt Bailey successfully manages to do; no need to carry a laptop in addition when traveling.

So, today, I hereby defy any velleity to write about doing things differently. I’m writing this post entirely on an iPad for the first time. And, I’m writing about a Digital Marketing program without actually writing about Digital Marketing per se.

Doing things differently might actually be something I do more often than just once in a while…

What about you? How often do you do things differently from usual?

I really don’t like to hate.  But there is one thing in particular that I just hate that I love.  It is: Diet Coke. 

I admit, I love Diet Coke. I love the brand.  I love sipping it in the afternoon (especially around the 3 o’clock hour); often I even love it with breakfast.  I love the Olympics for which they are a sponsor.  I love the sound of the can opening.  I love the feel of the plastic 20 ounce bottles. I love the red color in the logo.  I love it over ice.  I could go on and on… 

On the other hand, what I hate about Diet Coke is knowing that the ingredients aren’t particularly healthful, though the industry claims they aren’t particularly dangerous either.  I hate the claims that Diet Coke can potentially even cause weight gain; that its ingredients affect calcium absorption;  and that the articfical sweeteners can have adverse affects in our bodies, though the American Diabetes Association and American Heart Association don’t seem to have any problems with the product.  I hate that it is addictive.  I hate that it’s an expensive vending machine habit.  I hate that I still love it anyway. 

At the same time, I have been successful in some self-imposed spans of abstinence, from which I have often relapsed, too.  Currently I’m off it again, trying to stay away from sources of caffeine to sleep better. 

But then again, considering the movie, “Thank You for Smoking”, I can’t say that I would fight to have the product banned either.  That movie nicely supports the message that we all have a choice.  That we can’t blame an industry for making profits by offering a product that we can perfectly well choose not to consume. 

I could probably write a whole book about the pros and cons of Diet Coke.  (If you’d be interested in reading it, just let me know since I’d love to write it.)  But for now, I’ll close with the following thought which was sparked by these two articles I just came across: 

• “Plain Old Soda Gets a New Pop in a Down Economy” – Time
• “Coca-Cola CFO: Industry must fight soda taxes”  – The Boston Globe

Consider this fact:  Carbonated beverage sales in the latest 12 months ending May 2010 totalled $18.7 billion.  That’s almost as much as BP is putting into its uncapped oil cleanup escrow fund. 

That’s a lot of money that we as consumers (collectively) spend in a year for a little bit of enjoyment.

So….what do you hate that you love?

The latest “rule” about the “new economy” and the “new job market” (or, rather, on how to take advantage of the economic downturn by becoming an entrepreneur) seems to be: “get ahead by breaking the rules”. 

I’ve always found that advice to be a bit suspect or a bit too “convenient”, overshadowing the role that luck and selective memories often play. 

Of course, that’s not to suggest that we don’t benefit from the “learning opportunity” of missteps, whether due to breaking the rules or not.  However, when it comes to rules, sometimes the “learning” is that some rules aren’t meant to be broken in a willy-nilly way.

Now, you probably don’t really need my advice on this.  There are lots of books on this topic, for example:  “Outliers” by Malcolm Gladwell;  “Ignore Everybody” by Hugh MacLeod;  “What Got You Here Won’t Get You There” by Marshall Goldsmith and Mark Reiter.  I’m not shooting down any of these authors or their books.  I actually have all three of those books on my book shelf.

Actually, I probably don’t even need to write a whole blog post about this, especially since I could pretty much consolidate my main point into 140 characters as I did on Twitter here:

Yet, if I were to elaborate a bit, I’d suggest that maybe there should be some rules, or at least guidelines, on what to know about rules before breaking them. If such rules on “how to break the rules” were to exist, here’s what I think they might include:

1. Know what rules exist, both explicitly and implicitly, in your realm of operation before trying to change things. Don’t assume rules do or don’t exist as you imagine them.
2. Know why certain rules exist.  “It’s always been done that way” shouldn’t always be blindly accepted, but may not be without merit either.  Investigate.
3. Know who created the rules, when, and for what intended purpose.
4. Know if the right rules were created and if they are meeting their intended purpose.
5. Know when to push the boundaries and when to respect them.  Don’t naively mess with strong forces like Mother Nature.
6. Know when “the times” have outgrown previously necessary/useful rules.  Rules seem to have pseudo- unwritten expiration dates.  Know when they are fresh and need to be respected.  Know when their time is about up or overdue.
7. Know if rules are being appropriately applied.  When the context, situation, and players change, do the rules need to change, too?
8. Know if existing rules are being respected and consistently enforced.  If not, find out why before taking action on it.
9. Know if old rules need to be tweaked, tossed, or replaced by new rules.  Chaos and anarchy isn’t always the best and only counter rule.
10. Know if the rules are hindering, hampering, or hurting more than they are helping.  Are they hampering creativity, productivity, efficiency, and flexibility?  Creativity, innovation, or uniqueness are key differentiators.

In general, whether we like them or not, rules do serve a purpose. They maintain order.  At the same time, rules aren’t always perfect; some are good, others are not so good (and there exists a full range of possibilities in between). 

For example, consider basic road traffic rules.  They basically work (e.g., what side of the road to drive on; what signs and symbols represent; etc.) 

Other rules are more subjective (e.g., company cultures, dress codes, ethics), but are still necessary to create guidelines of behavior, fairness, and civility.

There is also that much quoted phrase that goes something like this:  “It’s better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.”  But as I began this post, I’ll reiterate the point about our selective memories; let me know if that blanket statement about “asking for forgiveness” has never bit anyone in the behind before either.

What do you think?  How easy is it to succeed at “breaking the rules”?

In this fast-changing world of ours, decisiveness is clearly the name of the game.

In the book “Blink” by Malcolm Gladwell, we learn that those with expertise in a particular subject matter can be quite accurate in their quick instinctual gut reactions to certain claims or situations.

And, conversely, those without expertise in a particular area of focus generally don’t fair so well with this kind of quick decision-making.  Hence, the phrase “rushing to judgment” doesn’t have such a positive connotation.

“Decisiveness is a characteristic of high-performing men and women. Almost any decision is better than no decision at all.” ~Brian Tracy

So, what do we make of this common advice that:  “making any decision is better than making no decision?” We could all probably readily agree that it is true that inaction, like procrastination, has let many high-potential projects go uncompleted or forever remain un-started.  But should that really be the only criteria we are considering here?

“Test fast, fail fast, adjust fast.” ~Tom Peters

Either way, in the end, whatever decisions we make are ours alone.  We are our own best judge when it comes to knowing whether or not a quick decision is in our best interest or not.

For example, salesmen often want us to make quick decisions so that we don’t talk ourselves out of doing what they want.  Yet, jumping on a sale isn’t always a bad thing, especially if you’ve been shopping around.  But, we all know, too, how compulsive/impulsive buying can quickly get us into trouble, too.

When someone rushes us to decide something, they want us to avoid coming up with and considering “what ifs”.  When they suggest we are over-thinking something, they probably fear we will change our mind about something away from what they desire or expect.

On the other hand, it is also true that waiting till we are ready to make “the best decision” will put us at risk of over-thinking things, since a “best decision” doesn’t even really exist (unless we’re talking about multiple choice tests). 

So many situations can really have multiple acceptable outcomes.  In such cases, we’re easily better off not worrying about “the best decision” but instead focusing on making a good decision rather than a bad decision, or a better decision over a worse decision.  And, hoping that luck is on your side can’t hurt either.

“I’ve found that luck is quite predictable. If you want more luck, take more chances. Be more active. Show up more often.” ~Brian Tracy

Either way, you can’t be over-thinking something that you haven’t given any or much thought to yet.  Thinking something through shouldn’t always be considered a bad thing.

The next time someone tries to rush you into making a quick decision by suggesting that you are over-thinking things, maybe consider being less afraid of over-thinking things and more afraid of under-thinking things.